If you get tired during the day, just smell yourself.

Soo, I suck at updating. Like facebook, this blog has turned into yet another tool that I can use to stalk my friends. To give a quick synopsis of the last couple of months, I am resorting to lists because 1) I love making lists and 2) I'm lazy. So, without further adieu (in random, nonchronological order)...

1) Someone stole my car!! Well, not my car, but my mom's acura. No one in their right mind would steal my car. Well maybe if they were colorblind, but even then, no.

2) The police found my car! They pounded on my front door tonight while I was in the middle of Immuno (my online class). At first, I thought it was the person/people who stole my car and was scared beyond reason. I actually turned off all of the lights, and wrapped in a blanket, I crept towards the door until I saw the flashing red and blue lights and realized that he was there to save me and not kill me. Laugh now, but you would be scared shitless, too.

3) I'm going to be published! Finally, working at McLean has paid off, and our paper will be in the glossy pages of Schizophrenia Bulletin in June. I'm going to be famous. :)

4) I love my job. I'm starting to get into a rhythm at work, and I really like the environment. It's wonderful being surrounded by people who love what they do and have a genuine interest in health care reform. Plus, my coworkers are fun, and even though I don't really know them, my office neighbors are pretty quirky (last week, I heard a cow bell ringing in the hall). My mission is to become friends with them. Right now, I'm working on two studies. My main study is a literature search on specialty referral metrics. We're looking at how we can measure different aspects of the referral process using administrative data, surveys, insurance plans, etc., and ultimately, how these measures can be used to evaluate the current referral system and the efficacy of interventions. Sometimes, I can't help but feel incompetent when I'm in meetings with such accomplished people, but I'm slowly learning to overcome my imposter's syndrome. I'm working with a guy who has an encyclopedia of papers hardwired in his brain and whose eyes literally light up every time he reads a paper new to him. Even though there are times when I'm fed up with filtering through PubMed articles, I'm constantly reminded of the study's importance and necessity in changing the US healthcare system.

I'm also working at a clinic, enrolling kids for a study on developmental screening. I don't think I really understood the importance of the study until I saw a 2 year old with delays. I was trying to get consent to enroll her sister in the study, while she ran around the room. She was so eager and playful, but instead of saying what she wanted, she would just point to things with a sense of urgency. I was amazed at how patient her mother was with them. While filling out a questionnaire, her mom told me that she reads to them every night, and when she has time, she likes to indulge herself and reads two books a night, instead of just one. When I indulge myself, I eat a whole bar of chocolate and increase my risk for diabetes.

For the first time, I really feel like I have a purpose. Even though I'm just a disposable research assistant, I feel like I have a say and that I can actually make a change. As corny as that sounds, it's a really great feeling to have.